Japes In China

The blog I'll never finish

So I’ve been back in the UK after my 2nd trip to China for over 8 months now – and its time to face facts – Its VERY unlikely I’ll finish my blog of my 2nd visit.
So if you enjoyed reading it, sorry. Maybe I’ll try again when I return next time. Right now, I’m just too busy. :(

Putonghua

Three hours later and its 8.30 am and my alarm goes off, and I stumble into the shower in order to get myself awake enough to take my first Chinese language lesson.

I make it down to Coffee Bean in Xin Tian Di with just enough time to get some breakfast in before Annie, my tutor, turns up to take me through 2 hours of Putonghua.

Its difficult, no doubt about it! My mind has trouble spliting PinYin from how you would say a word if you read it in English. So “Bei” should be pronounced as “Bay”, but days on I’m still making the same mistake over and over and kicking myself for it. One day! Nothing is impossible….

After a lesson, what better thing to do than get some lunch, followed by an hour of chinese body massage at DragonFly ? So I met up with Johan and Shak (who had flown in that morning), and did just that. The cracking sounds that were coming out of my neck and spine… ouch, but its a treatment that comes highly recommended!

Friday night - "a quiet one"

So it being Friday night, it would be rude not to go out and see some of Shanghai’s nightlife. OK, I’m tired, but I’m on holiday, so why not? Don’t want to stay out for too long though.

Famous last words.

Johan and I met up with some of the guys I met last time I was out of here, and we went for Tapas. After some great food there (the lamb chops especially stood out, indicated by the 8 portions we ordered during the course of the night – real melt in your mouth stuff), we then headed out to the Bund for a drink. One drink turned into many, one bar turned into 3, a quiet one turned into lets stay out drinking until 3am. That late in the night, we got the munchies, so off to a 24 hour American-type foodie place we went called City Dinner. Highly recommended – I had an omelette, Johan had a burger and chips, and rediscovered his favourite dip – Ranch :)

Ijah. Eye Jah. ejah. !?!

After a pleasent (if somewhat empty, but sleepless) flight, I landed in Pudong Aiport on a hazy warm morning. This time, there was no army of blue overalled workers to be seen – it was just straight off the plane and through customs without anything of note to be seen.

With baggage collected, I got a taxi and managed to relay my destination in Chinese (thanks for the tuition Shak) and I was on my way. Within 1 minute the driver had only just narrowly missed hitting two pedestrians ambling acoss the road.

An hour later, I was in my base camp for the week, and Johan had me a cup of a tea waiting. Hows that for a welcome? :)

Following a lunch at Xin Tian Di, Johan took me down to Ikea so I could get a futon. Yes, China has Ikea. (It also has a knock-off copy centre just down the road, selling similar Ikea goods at local workmanship prices.)

Getting to Ikea was interesting.
In China, Ikea is actually pronounced “eye-Jah”. I don’t know how many different ways you can actually pronounce “eye-Jah”, but it must have been said about 20 times by Johan to the Taxi Driver, and he just didn’t get it, even with Johan explaining that its the place that contains home furnishing, sofas, chairs etc. Eventually, the driver understood, and said “eye-Jah!” back to us. I’m convinced there was no difference to Johans pronounciation and his.

So, we got to Ikea, and I got a futon to sleep on. Well, I sort of did. Order the futon upstairs on the shop floor, and they print out the order for you to take to the checkout. Same as in the UK, and the world over. No surprises there. Get to checkout and pay for said futon. Fine. No surprises their either. Go to collection point and be told that futon not in this warehouse. Futon has to be delivered to store from external warehouse. We no have futon today. Gah. In addition, we have to pay for delivery of futon to flat. Why were we not told this earlier?!?

So, off to a mixed start!

So here we go for a second time...

I’m on board my aircraft, awaiting everyone to clamber on board.

Destination: Shanghai.

I wonder what delights and frights I’m going to discover on my second time out in the land of eastern mystery.

Whatever happens, I’m sure its going to be a helluva ride!

Already lined up are 2 hours of Mandarin lessons per day, and I’ll be catching up with some characters I first met 6 months ago.

JP signing off from outside Heathrow T5 - until next time!

Its all over

As I write this, I’m now somewhere over Western Russia at 35,000 feet, due to land back home in Heathrow in about 3 hours time.

I’m feeling sadness over the fact that I’ve left China behind, that its all over, that I’m heading back to dirty, unsafe, rude London, where everything is unreliable, everything is expensive, and everyones trying to rip you off at any opportunity. The last 12 days have been a great experience – lots of fun, experience of a totally different culture, seeing a China which is totally different to anything shown on TV back home. The cuisine I’ve sampled has been absolutely fantastic, both the high end restaurants and the simple local fare. The only thing I haven’t tried is baiju – the local spirit which is at around 60% proof.

I definately am looking forward to a return visit. Hopefully I’ll have taken some Mandarin lessons by then – as communication is 2nd only to respect out there, and knowing the language will provide an even richer experience.

Many “xiexie ni”’s to Shak & Johan for playing perfect hosts!

The Last Day

Sunday was a fairly low-key day – more about shopping than anything else.

We started off with a brunch at a French restaurant in Xintiandi, where I managed a bowl of soup, 2 plates of mains, and 2 plates of fruit/dessert. Me? Fat? Naaaaaaah.

After that, we headed down to a pedestrianised street called Najing Lu – full of department stores, gift shops, and girls wanting to get too friendly in exchange for some RMB. No thank YOU.

We experienced the tea house scam on this street – as well as the art shop scam again. Have tourists, have scam. The tea house girls just wouldn’t leave us alone. We even suggested going to Starbucks just to get rid of them, but they were insistant on taking us to this one specific shop. We walked past one guy who shouted “Be careful of them” at us – the scam is obviously a well known practice to the locals who must see it on a daily basis.

We went to look in a department store, and as we entered, everyone turned and faced us, stopped what they were doing, and the only sound was the occasional “loawwhyyy”. We felt like aliens, and so quickly offered a Ni Hao, and moved further into the store.

Next to the hotel we were staying at was a little stall owned by a chinese lady in her twenties, who was trying to learn English. We had a look at her Mandarin to English phrase book, and now fully understand the issue we are having with speaking the local lingo.

Here’s an example:
Does this bus go to the railway station?

The pronunciation guide is shown as:
da si re si ba si gou tu re rui ou wei si tun shen

If thats how Mandarin to English gets translated – just how accurate are the English -> Mandarin books which provide “speech breakdowns”? Not very, I’d guess. Best to stick with the Pinyin and an understanding of the character sounds!

As it was our last night, I wanted to do some local food, rather than western food. I dragged Shak2 to a dumpling restaurant in Xintiandi. We had some vegetable dumplings, some fried rice, a plate of cold beansprouts, shredded beansprouts, and seaweed, and a bowl of Chicken Broth, noodles, and dumplings. Delicious!!

Massages, Fake Goods, and Electronics ahoy!

Saturday saw breakfast at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, followed by a trip to the tailor to pick up some shirts, and then a full body massage at DragonFly. Unfortunately, when writing down the materials I wanted for my shirts, they got one of them wrong on the order form, and so handed me a pea green and white shirt. Ermmmm. They’re now making me a new one!

The body massage was a good experience. Leg, foot, arm, back, and stomach massage with fragrent oils, whilst lying on a heated bed. My legs were still aching from the great wall climb, and so I was hoping that this would help a bit. It did – a bit. £9 for an hour work over – great value for money! I believe DragonFly are planning to open a London branch – could be dangerous for the bank account! Shak2 also enjoyed his, but managed to stay mostly silent during the treatment, instead of moaning the place down.

After this, we headed down to the fake market – due to be closed by the goverment on the 23rd April, as its not the image that Shanghai wants to be known for. This market houses about 500 stalls, the majority of which sell watches, bags, belts, t-shirts, jackets, and shoes, all from known brands but at a fraction of the real price. We learnt that you can expect to pay around 30% of the original asking price, by dropping the “woar boo shure l’aowwwhy” line to get a laugh, and then saying “tai dwor” – too much and waving your hands emphatically. Shak2 enjoyed himself immensely at this, though at one point he was haggling over the price of a watch. At 50RMB, he walked off, and the stall owner called him back. 2 minutes later I see Shak2 running towards me through the crowds shouting “leg it – he’s after me”. We ran around the caller to another stall, and got talking to the owner about some belts. The watch store guy then found us and stood there staring at Shak2. He eventually said “watch – 50RMB, you want. Yes.No.”. He got the No answer, and then yelled “fock off” before storming off.

Haggling even gets you a discount at the toilets. Locals get in for free. Loawwhyy have to pay 3RMB. Dropping the line gets you in for 1RMB, and much laughter.

One the way back, we found a tea shop which sold the famous jasmine pearl tea that I’ve been looking for ever since I sampled it at Ping Pong in London. I bought all they had – about 30 balls for £6.

Once we got back to the hotel, we headed out again for Cybermart – a building chock full of computer & electronics shops, all of which are prepared to haggle! Unfortunately, the prices quoted on CPU chips worked out just as expensive as in the UK, if not more so, and they looked offended if you asked for a comparable price. However, we bought a couple of Skype phones and other like accessories for half price what you can get in the UK. In Cybermart, you are everyone’s friend, and everyone wants you to come back again so they can give you best price next time. However, its dangerous for someone like me with a credit card!

Hangzhou

Friday saw an early rise so we could get an early internal flight down to Hangzhou. In typical Chinese accuracy, we asked for emergency exit seats and when we boarded the plane we were one row behind the emergency exit seats - no extra leg room for us :( However, it being only a 2 hour flight - it was doable.

Hangzhou is the most rural of China I've seen so far. The Shanghai to Beijing train journey was through rural china - but as it was an overnight affair, nothing could be seen until dawn, when we were approaching civilisation again. We went from the airport onto the highway, and then out into the countryside and into small towns. At one point we came off of a roundabout, and must have passed about 20 stalls, each peddling the same orange coloured fruit, at the side of the road. When we passed it in the morning - they were all full. When we passed back in the evening, they looked just as full. I don't quite get the mentality of having so many people within meters of each other selling the same thing. Two vendors next to each other can provide healthy competition. 20 just doesn't make sense.

Talking with some locals there, I learnt the basic wage for a person employed in unskilled/semi-skilled labour tends to be about 1500RMB (£107) per month. The Chinese can take out a repayment mortgage on a house over a 40 year period, and will tend to spend half of their monthly wage on their mortgage. Typically, about 10% of their wage goes on food, about 20% on education for their children, and everything else goes on clothing, bills, and transport, Labour is dirt cheap in China.

Most people are just happy to have a job, and have the viewpoint that today is better than yesterday, and tomorrow will be better than today. Tomorrow they may be promoted, new opportunities may arise - hope is key!

We were intending to stay overnight in Hangzhou at the West Lake complex, but everything was booked out, so instead we were driven back to Shanghai - a 3 hour journey by car. Everything went smoothly and quickly until we got near Shanghai - traffic jams then ensued, with it being a Friday night rush hour. We had the upsetting experience of seeing the aftermath of an accident as we neared Shanghai. A peasent man and presumably his wife were trying to cross the busy highway; A car had hit
the man, and he was just lying at the side of the road on his back, not moving, arms and legs spread out. No one was attending to him, so it can't have been good. The police were already there, and the woman was standing nearby, with a look of shock mixed with disbelief on her face. That was a sight that we did not want to see. It definately put a dampner of the day - this was the first time I've seen death with my own eyes - and not through the lens of the media.

We got back to Shanghai and checked into a hotel just off Xintiandi - about £25 per night for a large novotel type affair. Great value considering the central location! Shak2 & I grabbed a coffee at our favourite coffee house, and then met up with Shak, Annie the Mandarin teacher, and a few others we met at bar rouge the previous saturday night for some Thai food. Those who know me will know I hate the taste of fish. I actually managed to eat some Kung-Po Shrimps and roasted salted fish this night - OK, it didn't taste too strongly of fish, so was pallatable to me. However - its progress!

After dinner, Shak2 and I went on a walk, as it was a dry pleasant night. With Hagan Das in hand, we walked away from Xintiandi down towards the Raddison hotel. The streets are a lot emptier at night, but we still felt 100% safe - a feeling that could not be duplicated back home at 11 at night! We passed several small stands offering street-cooked food, which smelled good, but I wasn't willing to take the risk with my gut. We also passed the usual "dvd, watch, bag" guys, (at night, it turns into "dvd, watch, bag, lady") and the street beggars. We decided to have some fun with all of these people, and so whenever we were approached, we'd go into a routine which starts "woar boo shure l'aowwwhy" - which means "I am not a foreigner." "woar boo shure shanghai ran" - I am a Shanghai person. In every case, this produced laughter from the other party, and anyone within earshot, and generally stopped them from continuing to harrass us. However, there was an old guy with a walking stick who would not take no from an answer, and we had to leg it down the road to stop him chasing us, though you could still hear him repeating "laowwhyy" and chuckling to himself. Given the response to that phrase, we were set up for the rest of the weekend.

Tourism Scams in Beijing

Day 9 sees a warm spring day (mixed in with the dust cloud which is covering a good % of China at the moment), perfect for doing the touristy stuff around Beijing. By touristy stuff, I mean the inevitable Tian’anmen Square and Forbidden City.

I woke up feeling the effects of the previous day’s excertions in my calves – and this made walking extremely difficult. But soldier on we did – our days in Beijing (indeed in China) are limited, We jumped in a taxi and headed down to the square; One relatively straight-forward journey later and we’ve arrived.

We started walking around the outskirts of the square, taking in the various buildings. As we stopped outside the Building of the People, we were approached by a couple of chinese girls, who made out they wanted to practice their Engrish, who were both students. One lived here studying to be a Doctor, and the other studies in Shanghai, and was just visiting her sister.

They paired off on Shak2 and I, and talked to us for a while, before asking where we were going. After we told them just around the square, they said they’d join us. OK, no harm in walking and talking – a good chance for us to practice our incredibly limited Mandarin and phrase-book skills too! As we reach the top part of the square (the part farthest from the Forbidden City), they ask if we’d like to see the old part of Beijing, before the government knock it down to make way for new hotels and apartments for the 2008 olympics. As they indicated it was only up the road, we thought why not. So off we went down a traditional Chinese street (which starred in a scene of a Jackie Chan movie so they told us), and then did a left into an even narrower street, full of locals who just stared at us. The end of this turned into a busy market-type street.

At this point, Shak2 & I were talking quickly to each other in our own version of East London slang, thinking that something was a bit fishy – “bait” is the apt term used. They take us on a tour of the local chinese medicine shop, where the medical student tells us about some of the remedies that are on sale, almost all of which seems to cure impotence. Hmmm, what’s she trying to say about us laowwhy?

After this tour, we get back onto the street, and they wonder if we’ve seen a traditional chinese tea house. At this point, Shak2 & I are basically wanting to leg it, and so say we have to meet a friend to go to the forbidden city. This is when they start to pressgang us into going, suggesting we have 1 drink and then walk down there together. Erm, No. Not a chance. We make our excuses and go.

Of note on the way back to the square was a chinese version of Trotters Independent Traders – flogging their wares to a captivated audience on a side street.

At the square, we get accosted by another 2 chinese of the feminine persuasion. Using an almost identical routine, they go through the motions – “where are you from?”,”how long have you been here?”, “can I practice my english with you”, “whats your name” etc etc. The fact that we are paired off, but both are asking the same questions at the same time is suspicious, not to mention that this lot are doing what we’ve just experienced 10 minutes before. At that point, we thought good job we bailed on the previous two – something obviously going on here that we’re not clued up on. Anyway, these latest 2 were art students, and wanted us to see their paintings briefly. Again, they were quite persistant, even though we had no interest in taking a peek. Following on from this, I’ve found that the chinese art scam is quite a common practice, and we’ve also had it tried on whilst in Shanghai….
The first two were on the classic tea house scam – get you to go for tea to a certain tea house they are affiliated with, and then you pay the bill. Not as innocent as it seems – the bill comes to around 1000 RMB - about £80 by current exchange rates. And if you don’t pay, the tea house has the heavies on standby.

So after shaking off this set of timewasters, we took the classic photo of each of us stood in front of the photo of Chairman Mao , and then made our way into the Forbidden City.

What a place (palace!) it is. You can see how in it’s time it has played home and host to many an emperor. Unfortunately, half of the site is currently under renovation, which means various areas were off-limits, and leaving the visitor to wonder just how much of the city is original and how much of it is new-build / disney-type theme park…

Anyway, the city is definately a wonder. So much history eminates from the walls. Our favourite western coffee house has staked a claim on the soil, and was packed to bursting point. We didn’t see everything the city had to offer, but we spent a good long time walking around the south, eastern, and northern parts of the city – taking in a beautiful garden, 6 small temples which housed relics from the ages, and some of the larger buildings. However, even the city isn’t safe from the art tourist scammers – we had to get rid of 2 of these types, and they don’t take no for an answer. I can’t swear in Mandarin yet – but maybe even that wouldn’t help!

Leaving the Forbidden City at around 4, we walked our way towards central Beijing. On the way we saw a fleet of black Audi A6’s scream past – government cars judging by the flashing lights inside the headlamps – and they really stand out amongst the streets of Beijing. On our travels, we passed a bike shop, where a Dahon folding bike (£600-£700) in the UK cost the equivalent of £50 – Shak2 was REALLY tempted, but with excess baggage costs and import duty, it doesn’t make that much sense.) Getting hungry, we happened across a local Muslim restaurant. Shak2 spoke the lingo and before we knew it, we had pak choi in garlic, 2 different types of soup, and some rice. Original Cost of meal: 35RMB (about £1.25 each). Cost of meal to the brotherhood: 20RMB (about 70p each). Bargain!

That evening we headed out for dinner with Mimi at a lebanese restaurant. Good food was enjoyed by all. What really struck me as a difference between the UK and China, was that Mimi was spotted by a fan of hers. In the UK, they’d come over and talk to her – probably end up harassing her for an autograph or ten. However, what happened here was that they wrote her a note and asked the waiter to pass it on for her. China is all about respect.

Following the meal, four of us went for a foot massage. What an experience that was! OK, it was a “schenshun”, rather than a “shaowjay” providing the massage, but it was very relaxing non-the-less. I ended up having a pedicure & manicure as well, just for the experience. Shak2, it being his first time for having a message, groaned his head off for the whole 90 minutes. Who knows what visitors outside thought was going on in our room. The rest of us were all in stiches by his “performance”.

Shak2 then decided to try a chinese ear candle treatment, which was hilarous to watch. A “shaowjay” gave him a head massage, and then just when he was nice and relaxed, she lit a candle and stuck it into his ear, and let it burn down. There was a look of panic on his face as we told him there was smoke coming out of his ear. Once it had burned through, they did the other ear, and then unwrapped the base of the candle and showed us the results – two lines of wax had been sucked out.
Then came the bill – the establishment in question only charged us for the massages at first, and then suddenly realised they’d forgotton to charge us for the extras. However, as we all paid separately, it got confusing. 45 minutes, and some western sensibilities later, the situation was resolved. Why they didn’t write down on a bit of paper what each person had I don’t know. Common sense is not a common thing – anywhere in the world.

Wednesday Night = Google China Launch Party Night

Wednesday night saw the launch of Gu Ge – Google China’s official name. The soirée took place in the Beijing Hotel – quite central being next to Tiananmen square. About 800 people were in attendance, including people from Google US & Google Asia, a load of media, and people in the Internet industry out here.

A long spread of food filled two partitions of the room, drinks available in the corners, and people were walking
around with crispy scorpions, offering them as appetisers – something that thinking about makes my western stomach turn! A large stage with 3 screens filled the head of the hall, the giant Google logo lit up in blue, and various props ready for the show later on.

A video presentation welcomed the audience, using lots of traditional animated chinese art to get a message across (it wasn’t in English so I have no idea what it was on about), and then a couple of Googlers took to the stage to do the introductions. The new name was announced to a round of applause, and then the entertainment started.

We left the Google party and went to a bar called Browns. Although run by an Irish man, its obvious he has learnt the Chinese mentality and he’s produced a copy of the UK bar of the same name. That night, the Oxford Alumni were having a gathering, and the place was stacked full of expats. Being a “l’aowwwhy” (foreigner) in China, being sat amongst a bunch of my countryman is the last thing I want to do. Thats an Ibiza/Lanzerotte type of thing to do “home away from home” – and utterly pointless.
So, we headed off to The World of Suzy Wong – a three floor club/bar, decorated in Shanghainese 1930’s style. A load of Chinese Googlers where already there, obviously enjoying themselves. We got the drinks flowing and I talked with a couple of friends of Johans.

“Sha-K” and “Sha-K arr” (chinese names) then headed off home, and Johan and I went back to Browns to see one of his friends. When we got there we found (and I quote Johan) – “The African Convention” had taken up one part of the room, and most of the oxfordites had left. There was a representitive of at least 10 African countries sat there, along with the Jamaican ambassador. Most of them were in Beijing learning Chinese, and had been for 2 months or so. We stayed there for a while, talked with Zimbabwe, with a guy from Paris, and some others. Botswana left with Jamaica, and as the night drew on, everyone left. We then went on to a club, where I lost Johan, and so had to jump in a taxi by myself with only “Ni Hao” and “xiexie” to get by on. Somehow, I managed to get back to base. In China, “mei yo bu kenen” (may yo bukanen) – Nothing Is Impossible.

Some pictures from the night

Hitting the 10,000 Li Wall

Today was wall tour day.

Having hired a private bus with driver, complete with a team picture in the window, we made our way over to Badaling – one of the tourist spots for the Great Wall of China.

It took about an hour and a half to reach there by football bus, driving through the outskirts of the city and into the scenic countryside.

Once we got there and stepped off the bus – cue the “Harrow?” remarks from the locals trying to scam us with their peddled wares.

As we were a little pushed for time, we got the cable-car up to the wall – a nice view over a 2 minute ride, and all for 50rmb.

What followed next was about an hour of excruciating pain. Although everyone knows the wall follows the terrain, and as such goes up and down all over the spot, What you probably don’t realise is that it hugs the terrain, meaning there are sections where you have to haul yourself up an incline of about 60 odd degrees. For us laouwai, this is something we don’t experience on a day to day basis, and so pretty soon we were knackered out (well, after the first uphill slope actually). Some of the wall is flat, whether it be straight or inclined, and they put steps in for the really tough areas. We’d heard that a name-branded coffee shop had a site on the wall now, so we asked a passing American, who stitched us up by telling us it was only about 20 minutes in the direction he’d just come from. 20 minutes later, we came to a tower-like structure, but sadly no coffee shop. Only touts peddling their dodgy wares at extremely high prices. We each got a HERO certificate for half the asking price, courtesy of Shak haggling in Chinese. As soon as the locals realise you’re a local too – instant discount.
Note to Matt Taylor: If you’re doing 8 days of this, you’re going to need a serious amount of maotai to numb the pain!! 1 hours punishment was enough for me! (Update: I’m still feeling it 4 days after!!)

As I started to seriously consider hiring a helicopter to winch us off the wall, We found a convenient exit point on
which unfortunately lead back to tourist-hell. Those familiar shouts of “herrroo – you like? look here” taunted us through the air once more. Making our why downhill towards the car park, we passed many stalls, and ever a few pits containing sun-bathing black bears. It was great to see that even animals shield their eyes from the sun!

As we approached the road, its time to get mobbed by every taxi driver out there. “You so tired – you walked the wall – me give you lift”. One guy just wouldn’t leave us alone, so in the end we jumped in his rickety cab and got driven down the road – almost knocking over a bunch of pedestrians and smashing into a few vehicles on the way. I’ve got a video of it – and I still wonder how we got out of there without a scratch.

Being a tourist hell spot, the instant driver wouldn’t give any change for the fare. A nice solution to this, should it happen to you, is to dive into the cab and nick his keys :) Once he realised what was happening, unsurprisingly he quickly paid up the change. Lesson: Being nice doesn’t get you anywhere in China.

So then we thirsty, tired, ripped-off westerners headed to the newest sanctuary within the great wall complex – Starbucks! Now contrary to what you may have heard in the media, the shop is NOT on the wall. It’s certainly within
walking distance of the wall, but its not touching any part of it. Its just another shop on a road near the wall. Marketing, eh? Unsurprisingly, there’s lots of tourist tat with the “Starbucks Great Wall” on it. One earl gray and a slice of blueberry cheesecake later, time to leave for the long drive back to Beijing in time for a party!

Beijing by Train

Today, its Tuesday. We’ve landed in Beijing.

We’ve not done too much over the last few days other than hang about Shintiandi and over at Shak and Johans’ flat.

Last night we borded the sleeper train at Shanghai and this morning woke up at Beijing station. The train left on time and arrived early – 11 hours 50 minutes door to door. Not bad going really – and quite a pleasent trip through rural China. British Rail could do a lot worse than learn from these guys.

Being one not able to sleep whilst travelling, I was expecting a looong trip, but surprisingly I managed to doze off and have about 6 hours interrupted sleep.

The train itself was about 20 carriages long – all sleeper cabins of 4 bunks a piece, and 10 cabins per carriage. Top speed was about 130Km/h from what I saw on the displays.

Thankfully we had the cabin to ourselves, and didn’t have to share with others. That would have been uncomfortable. However, I did see one cabin jammed full of 15 locals – they seemed to be having a good time.

So now we are in an apartment in Beijing, relaxing, and getting ready to do all the touristy type stuff tomorrow.

Zai Jian!

The Bar Rouge Experience

After a night of partying and a day of touring, what better way to spend a Saturday night than partying?

We started off with a home cooked meal at the hotel, where we were served a mixture of Shanghinese and Schezuen food – way better than anything you could ever get in London’s China town – a whole world of difference! Joining us were various members of Google AsiaPac and Brazil, who spent last week in Beijing attending their Asia Conference. This gave me the opportunity to meet Julian Persaud (ex Overture) and Teymour Farman-Farmaian, who I’ve heard lots about, and who are both really good guys. (Dan – they both say Hi!)

After dinner, we headed down to Bar Rouge, situated in the Bund. Bar Rouge is considered to be the best nightclub in Shanghai – and with the 8th floor views of the Bund, the decor, and the atmosphere, its not difficult to see why. Exclusive is probably the word.

All the stops had been pulled out for this, courtesy of one Khanxiansheng – we had two sofa areas reserved at the back, with a great view of the bar. Pretty soon we were diving into vodka mixers, and the alcohol just kept on coming. At around 11.30, the 8000-seater Rolling Stones gig had come to a close, and our party swelled in size with the addition of a load more Googlers. The club soon got rammed with people and the joint really kicked off after midnight. Pretty soon we were on champagne – swiging it back from the bottle like there was no tomorrow, dancing the night away without a care in the world. This carried on until the wee small hours, when the googlers’ decided it was time to go home. I think its safe to say everyone there had a blast!

We finished off the night at another club based on the 19th floor of a hotel, which had a completely different vibe from Bar Rouge. Another 5.30am finish that night… and no chance in hell we’d make the 8am tour on Sunday.

Pictures from the night can be seen here

Touring Shanghai in two different ways...

Its a wet Sunday afternoon, so I’ve come down to the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf in Shintiandi for an Earl Grey and to take some time to update the blog on whats happened over the last 2 days in this wonderful city on the other side of the world.

Shak took us out to the “Istanbul Restaurant” on Huai Hai Road (which happens to be in the basement of the Shanghai branch of ZenithOptimedia), and we had a fine Turkish meal with some of Shak’s friends. We had a private room to ourselves, and a front seat view of the belly dancers’ performances, performed by a selection of delightful Chinese Muslims.

Following the meal, we headed out on a mini bar crawl with Johan, Shak’s flatmate. We started off at Cottons Bar, an establishment which is a beautiful 2-floor villa, located next to the Polish embassay in Shanghai, with a large beer garden which included a bed in one corner of the garden. As a bonus, all the staff speak English too! It’s owned by a lady called Cotton Ding, who apparently is famous in Shanghai for her cocktails – she started out with nothing about 5 years ago, and has worked her way up to owning her own place with the help of some foreign backers. Whilst knocking back a few of her home-made specialities (Cotton Gin, Expresso Martini, and some shots I can’t remember the name of), we met a few ex-pats, and this chap called Duncan told us about the place.

After Cottons’ we headed out with Duncan to the opening night of a new bar just down the road. With Johan encouraging us to drink more, what else could I do? Things get a little hazy after that….

Food was required, that much I remember. (I performed my party piece and fell asleep at the table after the food joint cocked up the order), and then we went on for more drinks. I think we made it back to the hotel at about 5am.

Now normally after a night like that, I’d be in bed for a good 8 – 10 hours catching up on sleep. However, Shak had booked us on a tour of Shanghai, which left at 9am from one of the hotels a few miles away. I woke up at 8.20. Bugger.

How we made it onto the bus on time I’ll never know, but our taxi pulled up at the same time as the tour bus. We were convinced we were going to miss it.

The tour took in a buddist temple, a silk factory, a city garden, the White House (an artist museum where they people making things in front of you), and Peoples’ Square Shanghai Museum. Now maybe it was the lack of sleep which clouds my judgement on this tour, but I’ll say this anyway: My word of advice for the tour are to skip the tour, and see the places for yourself if so desired. Perhaps I’m saying this as my view on the tour is clouded by my dislike for the sales tactics – I’m convinced the tour company are on kickbacks from all these places we visited. Think Timeshare sales’ tractics – they rope you in and then give you the pitch. With the exception of the Buddhist temple, and the 400 year old Yu garden, all places visited are places you could buy things – in fact you are actively encouraged to buy things. The silk factory showed how they get the silk from the worms, and how they turn it into duvets. All quite interesting, but then we were given 45 minutes to shop, and the tour guide was laying it on pretty heavy about how you could get a bargain here (paying full tourist prices no doubt). At the art museum, same thing – pretty much everything was for sale, and again we’re encouraged to buy, buy, buy!

Being on a tour bus also means you’re a magnet for every beggar out there. If there’s one English word that every chinese person out there knows its “Herro”, followed a close second by “money”. You get them in every city of every country in the world, but with a population of 17 Million, Shanghai seems to have them everywhere, and its the resourceful ones that scout out the tourist traps. We had one woman grab an almost empty water bottle from one of the guys on the tour – and when I say grab she was playing tug of war with this bloke for about 20 seconds before he let go. She then emptied the bottle on the street and stowed it away in her bag, which at the time we found bizarre. However, this was old Mrs Li – a rag n bones woman. The Chinese have the recycling / litter problem under control here – get the homeless to do it for them, trading the collected material for a few juan. You see these people rummaging through bins for anything they can sell.

Heading off now, so more on the happenings of last few days coming soon…

Top tip from China

Don’t leave any valuables in Taxi Cabs.

Especially not electronics.

However, if you must insist on doing so, make sure it’s a mobile phone, so at least you can get someone who speaks the lingo to ring up and try and get it back.

If the above should happen to you, offer a large bribe to the driver, or else you’ll be faced with your equipment being sold off in return for food and clothing.

The moral of the story is don’t rush out in a foreign country on 2 hours sleep.

Thanks to the man on the ground in China for helping out on this one! It just goes to show “maiy ban fu” – anything is possible.

What can you get on the back of a bike?

We’ve seen everything from food to gas canisters being carried on bikes here in China, but this is ridiculous!

Can anyone top this?

 

23 hours later

7am. The builders opposite are already hammering away.
It’s only just turned midnight back home, and yet i’ve managed a full night’s sleep. I think the alcohol from last night helped.

So how are we faring? Well, yesterday, we stepped out of the hotel, had a walk around the block to see ‘real’ China (though its actually multi-cultural China, not real ‘real’ China which is out in the country, where 80 – 85% off the Chinese live. Read this for more detail).

We got hungry, so went to a restaurant which proudly proclaimed “We have English Menus”. Ordered some food, and our egg fried rice turned out like Rice Cakes – big peices of rice cooked in Sesame oil. NOT what we expected, and they spoke a little English too. Confusion abound! When it came to paying, we forgot the number 1 rule – Don’t leave a tip. As we got to the exit, we were chased by the cry “Sir, sir, you’ve forgotten your money”. Very honest of them don’t you think? Can’t see that happening in any western society.

Shak2 then went for a shave at one of the local barbers. Hand gestures at the ready, they soon got the idea and enthusiastically went about shaving off his beard. Now, the Chinese don’t seem to have a lot of facial hair, and I’ve been told they don’t generally shave off beards. Its not hard to see why – it took 2 of them half an hour to do the job, using nothing more than an old fashioned cut-blade and no less than 4 hot towels.

Following this, Shak2 decides it’s a great idea to get a phone card for cheap international dialling. The phrase book calls a phone card dianhuaka, however the locals know it as an IP card (for IP telephony I guess). So after trying a mobile phone shop and several of the countless small corner-shop type places, we saw some on display, and were told their proper name. Then begun the process of haggling. A 100 RMB card was offered at 100RMB. Some comedy haggling later and we were down to 45 RMB, and there was that innane grin again on the faces of the shopkeepers.

Shak eventually resuced us from the hotel, and we headed out to the Covent Garden equivelant of Shanghai. With Shak knowing exactly what to order, and able to speak the Lingo. we had some quality food, and then went on a visit to a few bars, a local for the foreigners, which played nothing but 80s music, and then on to a lovely little place called 881 South Beauty which is definately my sort of scene. We met up with a few of Shaks’ mates there, had some cocktails, and before I knew it, it was home time…

In short, an interesting 1st day, and there’s more to come I’m sure.

Photos to accompany this narrative can be found here

They let me in! Would you have?

So, it's been an interesting - but long - day so far.
1st off, BA's self-check in system needs re-writing. I'm travelling with a friend, and I checked in first. It only showed 3 seats available for selection - and none of those were in a pair. Shak2 checks in, and it offers him a choice from the two seats at the back of the plane.... Luckily we manage to grab someone from BA who then re-assigns me the adjacent seat.

Then going through security, the staff decide my trousers pose some form of threat, as the metal detector gets all excited when scanning one area of them. So I'm escorted through to a private room for a more thorough examination. Lets leave it at that. Needless to say, I'm shown to be squeaky clean and am allowed through.

En route to the our plane, the bus driver got confused and tried to make us board the wrong plane. That got sorted pretty quickly, and soon we were on a plane which actually looked like it could take us the 5500 or so miles from London to Shanghai. Boarding the plane, some Chinese guy is chancing his luck in my seat. He soon disappeared. However, just minutes after we were scheduled to depart, the captain came on the speaker system announcing that BA had made a - and I quote - "a momnumental cock-up", and we had to wait for a crew member to board the plane. BA had cancelled her transportation to the airport from whereever she was... All the hallmarks of "one of those days".

So, 12 hours later, and we arrive in Shanghai. I'm mildly amused by a disembodied ground worker peering through one of the tiny windows of a door on the plane as we disembarked - he had this massive grin on his face whilst he watched everyone walk down the aisles to the exit. Most strange.
Even stranger was the group of about 20 airport personel stood on the ground by the front wheel of the plane in 2 rows - cleaning equipment at hand - staring at us as we made our way to the bus to the terminal, as we stared right back at them. Again, they had a collective, innane grin on their faces that the guy in the plane window has just minutes ago.
Someone let me in on the joke!
As the bus pulled away, that group of cleaning staff systematically boarded the plane in such a way that I imagine the whole thing would be clean within 10 minutes of them starting.

Getting through the health check booth was a doddle - just hand in a form. Immigration control took a bit longer, as the guys there actually took the time to check details. I offered the officer a "Nee how", and he half heartedly returned the same. Everything else was in hand gestures.
Baggage came swiftly, and again at customs - hand in a form and out.

The next strange thing to stike us was as we left the customers area out into the arrivals terminal, a pair of chinese ladies, dressed in blue uniform, shouted at us "Take the MagLev Train" in a squeaky monotone voice, both exactly synchronised with each other. How they did that without looking at each other, I don't know. Telepathy perhaps?

Following Shak's instructions, we got a taxi, tried lamely at communicating in Chinese - which again brought that innane grin I've seen before to the face of the taxi driver - and soon we were off to Shanghai proper.

Everything I've heard about taxi drivers in China is true.
They drive like maniacs, honk their horns and flash their lights at anything, and road rules here seem to allow for honking your horn at, then running down, pedestrians. If I don't find a bridge over a road around here, then I don't think I'm going to risk my life crossing it!

We arrived at the hotel address without maiming anyone, so paid up (and no, we didn't get Shanghai'd) - and then continued to follow the instructions given by Shak.
The hotel lies down the end of an alleyway, surrounded by traditional-ish chinese houses. The locals gave us a stare - no innane grin this time though! At the end is a gate with a buzzer. Pressing that leads to someone from the hotel coming down to open the gate and let you in. I asked if they spoke English "nee hway shwaw eengyew mah", got a "no", and then we were lead into the hallway of a magnificiant 1930's colonial house, with a long wooden dining table, chinese lanterns, bookshelves, and statues. Photos' coming soon! Our hostess indicated we should sit - disappeared for 5 minutes, and then came back saying "room ready". We hadn't even given our names! I hope this is Shak's preperation of the hotel, rather than us just stumbling into some random place like a hostel!? I'll find out later when Shak joins us.
Anyway, we have nice old-fashioned rooms which match the lobby - very distinctive, but lacking the modern comforts of your big chain hotels. That said, I've managed to get a wifi connection, so its not stuck in the past!

So, I'm left with the following questions:-
1) Why are so many roofs in Shanghai painted blue? From the air, every other building seems to be that way.
2) Whats the joke?

Zai Jian!

Day 1 Begins

As the clock turns midnight, I'm all packed and ready to leave for the airport... after a good night's sleep of course!

14 hours 'til I'm airbourne.